Insults and Violence: A Scholar’s Analysis

The wife and I have been glued to the television this week, indeed this month, watching what were once civilizations degenerate into adolescent self-promotion networks. All I can say is that when Wayne LaPierre attempts to cloak extremisms of weaponry in Second Amendment altar cloths, he makes much less progress than do the insult-slingers who have monopolized our attention for an entire month, in the name of a sadly-embarrassed First Amendment. I neither agree nor disagree with the content of the movie called “The Interview,” nor with the little bit of Charlie Hebdo available to me. What pains me is that these two purveyors of insult and iconoclasm have been mistaken for art, for journalism.

Still, shoddy stuff gets published, printed, projected all the time, and as an ordained minister, there is no question that insult and iconoclasm push my buttons. Imagine, then, my relief, to discover, on C-Span, a scholar who dives into the cold, hard framework of communal identity-building to categorize various forms of insult that play a role in the process. Karina Korostelina comes from the Crimean Ukraine but now holds forth at George Mason University, in the field of International Relations. IR was my field before ministry, but never did I approach her analytic prowess.

So here’s the link to her 90-minute seminar at the Kennan Center at the Woodrow Wilson School. Her examples don’t mean that much to me, because she feels for the former Soviet Union in a way I have never tried to approach through study or friendship. Her questioners include challengers who disagree with her characterizations of certain disputes, which shows that they do not challenge her fundamental framework. She puts insult into six categories according to the needs of the insulter, and cautions — correctly in my view — that insult forms, shapes and can direct a dynamic relationship between two parties, groups, nations. In some cases, she says, insults can substitute for violence, but in too many, insults escalate –deliberately — the pace of impending violence. Her talk was taped on 17 December 2014, and refers to the Sony film, “The Interview,” which was, in that week, being suppressed by its corporate sponsors. But somewhere in the suburbs of Paris, the assaults on Charlie Hebdo and the kosher supermarket were taking final form. Her book, her work, could not be more topical, more vital.

So, in the spirit of David Brooks, and other folks venturing cautiously to say, “Je ne suis pas Charlie” — and hastening to add that insults should not be capital crimes — I commend this scholar to you. Her new book appears to be coming soon, and she includes, in a portion of the book covered only briefly in the question-and-answer, a first attempt to distinguish between satire and insult. Being an academic tome, this book costs $50+ on Amazon. I hope that by calling attention to her work — not endorsing every word, but by offering her clear, comprehensive framework as a starting point — we can knock down its price and lift up our public conversation.

Happy New Year. Let’s see if we can correct its errant launch.

New Shoes for New Wives

New Shoes for New Wives

About six weeks ago, my love and I got married. She has Huntington’s Disease, but with medication, physical therapy, and sheer determination, she is living with it, rather than dying of it. My mom says I should write a memoir about this, but we aren’t really that interested in it. Like anyone else who does self-maintenance in order to do the things we enjoy or have to do. Just now, we are working on the house she bought and owns, through a combination of hard work and family support. But inevitably, as the disease takes it toll, she is less able to do most of the physical work, both large and small. She no longer drives. Hence, the work falls onto me. 

And I am grateful for the opportunity to do it. Vermont pays family caregivers like me to help their dependents stay out of residential or institutional care settings, on the assumption that this is cheaper than shelling out Medicaid at that level. They are probably right. This summer, thanks to our generous wedding guests and family, we are doing about two thousand dollars worth of work on said house, as well as heading for church camp next week. We pay property taxes, we buy organic food, we take care of stray cats. In the larger sense of community, we are a good investment. I say “we” because although she cannot do very much of the physical work, she knows more about it, and comes along to mentor and support me, every step of the way.

“Every step of the way.” That’s the pivot phrase to my topic at this moment. Like my mother, I have narrow feet in a common size. Well, almost a common size — one is a seven and one is a seven-and-one-half. Many years,there are no shoes for me to buy, even if I need to, because the combination of style, fit, and availability never happens. For the past two years, that has been the case with sandals. Gladiator sandals — especially with three inch heels and dog collars around the ankles — just don’t meet my needs. But my previous sandals had fallen apart, except for two last pairs, thankfully in very basic colors. Being on a limited budget, I was racing to every clearance bin and clearance website I could find, for better colors and nicer styles.

Finally I succeeded. Black, blue and brown. I like to also have multicolored and red — and I love this year’s corals, mustards,and olives — but care-giving is not that kind of lifestyle. So, basics only.

My wife has one pair of LL Bean sandals, and would never dream of having more. She marvels at my accessories fetish. But here’s the kicker: when the shoes arrived, she asked if I had put them on HER credit card. 

“Of course not! There are MY shoes.”

“These are OUR shoes.”

“There are things that are mine, and shoes are one of them. If you were a man, you’d never question a wife buying some things on her own, with her own money.”

Okay. But what made her say that?

Is it because she has more money from family sources? In reality, our family resources are pretty equal, but I am trying not to exploit mine. I encourage her to be more cautious with hers as well.

Or — and this didn’t occur to me until much later — is it because she wants to thank me for all the work, and to treat me to something she knows I need and want, in one of the few ways she can?

I could ask her, and that would answer this question for us. But I’m writing this to say that care-giving has cast a different light on a long-held calculation.

Gardening as Racism

The neighbors catty-cornered from one of our lilacs have a beautiful grapevine growing against our common fence. For about two weeks, I’ve been noticing that their grapes have twined and vined over and through my lilac, first where it overhangs their property, and now, way into my yard. Today’s late afternoon gardening task was to cut these vines (on my side) and pull them off the lilac.

Makes sense, eh? But I live in the part of Burlington where Jews and Italians cultivated grapevines during the half-century of prohibition my people imposed on theirs. So while my clippers trimmed and pulled, my heart mourned the injustice this simple act of gardening would once have been.