Why Can’t My Mind Seize This Opportunity?

Here in Burlington, Vermont, it is cold, damn cold. It has been so for a couple of days and and gonna be so for quite some time. I have carefully looked ahead in the weather forecast to see when we’ll cross back up towards twenty (Fahrenheit) so I can get more groceries. That is thirty degrees and several days away — not counting wind chill.

Why should a caregiver care? Most days, I don’t go anywhere anyway; staying home with my sweetie and her disease keeps me busy and happy. But too often, since her greatest ambition revolves around listening to news shows (ranging from C-Span to MSNBC), my butt gravitates to my chair, so close to the sparkle of those blue eyes peaking out from under her fleece cover.

I’ve made a list of things to do, and most of them are really important. It feels like something inside is shifting in their direction. But mostly, I’m just playing on the computer, while MSNBC plays in the background. There’s some pride in having taken out the recycling this morning (most people didn’t) and brought in the bins this afternoon (apparently unique, even for those who got them out in the first place), but that’s a pathetic level of accomplishment.

Do other caregivers have this problem? I wish I knew…

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One thought on “Why Can’t My Mind Seize This Opportunity?

  1. Yes! I hate admitting (even to myself) that, when opportunity presents itself (no emergencies or immediate needs to address), I find it hard to seize. When Mom & Spouse are safely resting, I want to rest, too. So, the to-do list remains and grows. Sigh. Thanks for helping me smile about it, though. I can also relate to your sense of accomplishing something, if not everything (and small things, if not big ones). I guess we should bask in satisfaction when we can. (We got our recycling out before the storm, too.)

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